have i ever told you i work in an office?

can you picture me at a big desk with staplers and files, answering phones in my sweetest voice? well i'm not all doodles and whimsical thoughts, as this bloggity-doo would suggest. i move paper, i stamp things, i print and fax and copy. and i kind of don't mind it. my assistant is four years old and my boss is my mom's new(er) husband (think a cross between stephen hawking, rainman and cp30)..(frank: if you are being read this via mom, sorry- it's true, but only in the best way possible)

 somedays i just can't help myself. post-it's and pens taunt me.

update: i am a wienie.
the dentist, my mother in law, and my kids agree.

i wanna be sedated

i have a grey scarf around my neck, and it's soaked with tears and snot. all because i have a totally irrational fear of the dentist, and a root canal appt. tonight. i can't tell you how many times i almost cancelled.

does anyone else have this silly fright?? it's not really about the pain (i have had two babes) but it's sort of about the pain. i can't imagine sitting through an hour of drilling without leaping from the chair and darting from the building.

all i can tell you at this point is
a) i want the laughing gas. all of it.
b) hopefully tomorrow i'll be posting an "that was it?" post.

me and my pencil

lately the only art tools i need are a pencil and a surface.

{click for a larger view}

my trusty moleskine is nearing it's end. i either need to get over my eraser addiction or i need to find a more deeply dyed paper. no more hidden pages due to over rubbed, cream turned white blotches.

the morels+ethics sketch is my ode to uncles. uncles who teach you to trek through the woods, spit and swear and fight, and to always say please and thank you.

the next page is more self-explanatory. i'm hungry. for chocalate biscuits apparently.

the post about my brother

there are several things, in a blogger life, you don't share with the world (or a very sweet little following). usually you figure these things out as you go, the things you keep hushed are more often the things you hold the most dear. the protected.

in most circumstances something as personal as a departed family member would be under the hushed category for me. but, if you know me or have followed this blog for a while, you'll know that my brother is more than just a sibling; he is a part of me. since we were just little ones building trains with blocks or sticking carrot sticks in our noses.

i can't imagine how it would feel to be stripped of everything that makes you, you. or how tired you would be waking with the sun, pushing your body and longing for your own bed. i can, however, imagine how much he misses us. my husband said to me yesterday, " we only have him to miss, he misses all of us".

how true?!?

it's been two weeks since he left for basic training and each day i find a bit of time to sit down and meditate on the stirred emotions i have about him being gone. it usually starts with a flutter in my chest, which then drops into my tummy. i feel this many times a day.

however, i do not want my letters to him to be saturated in misery. so, i take this time to allow the sadness to settle and focus more on the desire to keep our communication going in the way we have always done it.

with humor. i'll share more on this later..

another person who is burning up her hand with letters is heidi, his lovely girlfriend. today is her birthday and i know that it has been tough for her with him gone. i wanted her to have a pretty little stationary set that was practical and personal. because i know those sad little letters are all they have right now. yesterday weston and i went to the craft store and schemed up the perfect set. it turned out quite lovely.

hopefully, this will an improvement compared to the trusty notebook pages.

knowing he'll be home for christmas is nice. knowing that he is safte for the time being  is comforting. and knowing that my brother is becoming a mature and wise man is beyond words. (but it doesn't make me miss him less)

the final design.

 and that's it my sweets. now i'm officially switching over to scrooge mcgrumpy until post thanksgiving.

dear santa, you are a macroscopic quantum elf.

the third design in my holiday card collection. all available in my etsy now. a fourth and final design to be revealed tuesday.